Welcome to Fetch Me Home!

"We are all just walking each other home" is one of my favorite quotes by spiritual teacher, Ram Dass.

I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of incredible people enter my life and help me along my path. But I have found that my dogs have not only been my most loyal companions, but also my wisest and steadfast teachers, walking alongside me every step of the way. Sometimes they lead, guiding me through hard times, and other times they lovingly follow behind and gently nudge me towards new experiences. Either way, they never stray far, and always greet me with happy wagging tails when I arrive home.

When the matriarchs of my life, my mother and my heart dog, Nala, passed away in 2020/2021, my heart was not only shattered into a million pieces, but my life was split into two distinct parts: before they died and after they died. I have been struggling to find purpose and meaning in my life since they died, but I have been too grief stricken to share my story or to tell our story.

Recently though, I have begun to reflect on my own healing and what has helped me along my journey. One of the most instrumental tools that has been salve to my deepest heart wound has been finding community and connecting among the grieving. It has not only helped me navigate my own pain, but has deepened my own personal spiritual awareness.

As the fog of deep grief lifts a bit over my life, I am learning to integrate the losses...and all the love...into my daily experiences. A few weeks ago, I was reminded of the day I picked up Nala's ashes from the veterinarian, after which, Koda and I drove to our favorite beach. At one point, when I looked up to the sky, the shape of a Phoenix emerged in the clouds, a gift I knew was just for me from Nala. The phoenix has become a personal totem to remind me of my own survival and reemergence from the darkest times of my life. I not only have a Phoenix tattoo, but both my first and middle names mean resurrection and rebirth. In that moment on the beach, standing under my own Phoenix in the sky, memories of our life flashed across my mind. I began making notes so one day, when I was ready, I could write our story in the hopes to help others.

A year went by and any inspiration to write seemed to be carried out with the waves on the beach that day. Then one night Nala visited me in a dream; I was walking along a winding path searching for "home." I could see it in the distance, feel it getting closer and I had a knowing of exactly what awaited for me when I arrived. As I walked the path, each turn brought a new person, a new experience, a new unfolding in my journey. And my sweet, sassy Nala was walking right alongside me. I couldn't touch her, but each time I took a right turn or stopped to engage in the experiences along the way, she would jump, and spin and wag her tail in glee as if to cheer me on. It was a beautiful message from her, reminding me she is never far, "only gone from sight."

Soon after, the author of a series of pet loss books that have inspired my own personal healing, sent me a private message inviting me to a special online community that uses the themes in her books to help light the way for others grieving the loss of their beloved four-legged companions. I received that message while Koda, Ru and I were enjoying a sunset romp on the same beach Nala had sent me my cloud-shaped Phoenix.

And, so the manifestation of "Fetch Me Home" began. This blog is a homage to my very good dogs Nala, Koda, Aiden and Rumi (Ru). My hope is that by sharing the lessons and love they have inspired in my life, it will also help inspire something in yours.

Over the coming weeks, I will post a new blog introducing each of my canine muses along with the themes I have uncovered from each of their unique purposes in my life.

If something I write resonates with you, please share, leave a comment or send me an email. There is power in story. During a time of so much uncertainty, isolation, and hostility, let's connect through our shared stories to bring some light, love and healing back into our lives, our communities, and maybe even the world.

After all, "we are all just walking each other home..."

Thank you. We are glad you are here.

Stacey, Nala, Koda, Aiden & Ru