FETCH ME THE LIGHT

It is no secret that our dogs have better senses then we humans do: better sense of smell, better hearing and better sight. In fact, even though most dogs are color blind they possess the incredible ability to see at night and to navigate through the dark.

Over the years my dogs have shown me that their skilled vision not only helps them physically maneuver better in the dark of night, but their keen sense of sight also offers a deeper wisdom that has guided me through some of the darkest emotional and spiritual times of my life. We have all heard the cliche sayings, “be the light,” “find the light within the darkness,” or “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.” But, sometimes the darkness that exists in our lives and in the world can feel overwhelming. And, when you’re stumbling around in the dark, you aren’t always able to reach for the light. It can consume you. All the grief, the trauma, and all the tragedies unfolding in the world are simply too much to bear. Sometimes you’d rather just close your eyes and sleep, praying that when you wake up, the daylight will lighten a bit of the burdens that weigh us down in our daily lives.

I know for me personally, it has been hard for me to find the light, never mind be the light these days with all that’s going on in the world: humanitarian crisis, domestic and International warfare, bipartisan politics, mass shootings, a global pandemic, social injustices, economic collapse and the list goes on. Then you add in each of our own personal traumas: death of loved ones, financial stress, social isolation, etc. Lately, life feels dark, heavy, and hopeless more times than it doesn’t.

The current state of our world has reminded me of a scene in “A Wrinkle in Time” where a giant, dark blob, referred to as the source of evil, begins to spread rapidly across the universe entering the hearts of men and corrupting them, turning them evil, jealous, selfish and cruel. The only way to overcome IT is to confront the unpleasantness in the world and exemplify love and light rather than fear, hate and greed.

Sometimes though, it feels like a losing battle. Sometimes the darkness feels like it is growing so rapidly that it’s outpacing our individual and collective efforts to shine some light into all that darkness. We become discouraged, complacent, and disheartened, so we stay stuck in the darkness rather than fight to find the light.

I have been stuck lately. I haven’t been motivated to action or inspired to create change. I haven’t even been moved to offer my compassion to those who have been directly affected by the most recent domestic tragedies. I am just exhausted from the fight, from caring, and for hoping that one day change will come.

I have found myself consumed in the particulars of the day to day, I avoid deep conversations about global affairs, and I plunge into mindless, superficial activities to distract myself from the grief, the fear, and the feelings of loneliness and hopelessness. But that only leaves me frustrated, restless and paralyzed in the dark.

Then, I look at my dogs and they remind me that it is ok to rest. Our bodies, our hearts, our minds and souls need rest. It’s like the notion that we have to put on our own oxygen mask first before we can help others. If we don’t restore and refuel ourselves from time to time we cannot effectively and whole heartedly give to a cause, a community, or be part of the change. We can’t be the light in the dark if our energy source is dim or not connected to a power source.

My dogs are such good teachers in this regard. They live in the moment. If they are feeling anxious, they show me and we adapt. If they are excited, they show me and we adapt. If they want a walk, they show me that too and we go for a walk. If they want to take a nap, they curl up on the couch and rest.

As I have struggled lately to process and find my own way back to the light, my dogs remind me every day that it is necessary and healthy to meet myself where I am at and to find the outlets that allow me to rest, restore and reach for the light. I am finally learning that if I am sad, I need to be okay with being sad. If that means staying in my pjs on the weekend and binging Netflix, so be it. If I am angry, I need to be angry. If that means screaming in my car while I drive to work or slamming a weighted ball a dozen times during a work out session, then so be it.

The other lesson of sight my dogs have taught me is that this is to remember that it’s temporary; this is just how we feel in this moment. And every day we have 1440 moments to feel and act any way we choose. Some days we may need all 1440 to be sad. But, it only takes one moment, one sliver of light to shift the other 1439. It’s important to keep your eyes, mind and heart open because that sliver of light, that shift, may come from a heartfelt conversation from a new friend, a walk in nature with my dogs or on the yoga mat.

These days I am grateful that when I am struggling to find my way through the dark, my four legged companions help guide me to the light. Whether through a game of tug of war, a nature hike, or chasing a sunset, my dogs are always by my side, ready to help Fetch Me the Light.

With Gratitude and light,

Stacey, Koda and Ru